Photos

I stumbled across some old pictures today, pictures that I'd forgotten about.

You see, I have this belief that every once in a while, you can catch a millisecond of truth on film. I really believe that.

Those are the kind of pictures I found today.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry as I shuffled through pictures of old musicals, marching competitions, proms, holidays. I laughed a little bit about my hair and my clothes. I remembered people who had been long forgotten. I saw things that I'd never noticed before: sad eyes, strangers in the background. I understood things that you can only understand by looking into the past. I found pictures of people who have since died, people with whom I've lost contact.

There's this picture of me and Danny, my dog. He had cancer, and we knew it would probably get him in the end. I spent an afternoon crying, and then my mom took my brother and me outside. She took pictures of us and the dogs. We all knew that Danny was going to die, even though we hadn't accepted it yet. That's the kind of truth I'm talking about.

I really wish I hadn't left me film camera at home. We've been inseparable since I was fifteen or so, since I went to Mexico. I wish I hadn't left it at home.