I want to be this girl.
This is the girl who wore a ridiculously bright coat and walked everywhere in 10 euro boots. She spoke French effortlessly, ate whatever she wanted, and took naps in the park, curled up on her purple scarf. This is the girl who never carried an umbrella and rarely cared what her hair looked like because it got along so well with the wind and damp air. This girl spent hours and hours dancing to live music with her friends.
Today, I don't get to be that girl. The girl who I am today carries much more responsibility, hoping that someday it might be worth it. Today, I'm trying to forget that I used to be her, so I refuse to wear those boots or that coat, fearing that I'll slide back into her life, that leaving her again will hurt me more than it first did. So I wear sweatpants and I sit in class and pretend that I don't miss her. I pretend that this is enough for me for now. I pretend to forget her, just for this first day of fall.