Today finally feels like the first day of fall.

I want to be this girl.

This is the girl who wore a ridiculously bright coat and walked everywhere in 10 euro boots. She spoke French effortlessly, ate whatever she wanted, and took naps in the park, curled up on her purple scarf. This is the girl who never carried an umbrella and rarely cared what her hair looked like because it got along so well with the wind and damp air. This girl spent hours and hours dancing to live music with her friends.

Today, I don't get to be that girl. The girl who I am today carries much more responsibility, hoping that someday it might be worth it. Today, I'm trying to forget that I used to be her, so I refuse to wear those boots or that coat, fearing that I'll slide back into her life, that leaving her again will hurt me more than it first did. So I wear sweatpants and I sit in class and pretend that I don't miss her. I pretend that this is enough for me for now. I pretend to forget her, just for this first day of fall.

Enjoying my life in spite of nursing school

Hi, adorable little blog. Sorry for neglecting you.

You see, it's just that I can't seem to focus at all. For example, in class this morning, my professor stated, "You'll need to know this for the test on Monday."

MONDAY? You mean, five days from now? We just had a test last Monday!

But yes, Monday. My next test is on Monday. Even though this weekend is Halloween, my favorite holiday. Yes, I'll be studying most of the weekend. But to keep my spirits up, I'm going to make pumpkins pancakes. And apple donuts. And maybe spiderweb cupcakes. And potentially some pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. This is the holiday that I wait all year for and I'm not going to let nursing school steal it from me yet again.

Speaking of my favorite holiday, nursing school also doesn't allow me time or funds to make a Halloween costume. So I dove into my closet and came up with this:

That's my rockstar of a boyfriend dressed up as the kid from "Up", me dressed up as a gypsy, and my number one woman Sasha as Little Red Riding Hood.

If I can make it through this week, my plans are as follows:

- Study my brains out

- Replant my sunflowers because they're outgrowing the tiny little pot they're currently living in

- Carve pumpkins! And make pumpkin seeds

- Force the boyfriend to watch "Hocus Pocus", because he's never seen it, and I think that's a tragedy

- Find some free time on Friday or Saturday and use it to make delicious Halloween treats

- ASU football!

- Try and figure out how to celebrate Halloween without Mariam

- Study study study

I love...

...when I'm wasting away my life at my computer and my gorgeous puppy jumps on top of me to remind me to wake up and stop being so boring.

...outside naps.

...lazy afternoons where all I do is read.

...snacks.

...laughing really hard when I least expect it.

...when my apartment is clean and looks like someone really cool lives here, as opposed to when I get really busy with school and it gets really dirty and looks like a hobo lives here.

...having knives in my kitchen. Especially one very pink knife.

...flowers in vases that live for over a week.

...planting sunflowers even though I'll probably overwater and kill them.

P.S. to my dad: I'm working my way back to blogging again. I love you more.