home again, home again pt II

Dallas was. a. blast. I sincerely believe that the best vacations include giggling with your very best friend, eating whatever you want, & getting sucked into trashy TV marathons. Check, double check, & triple check.

This is what my weekend looked like:

Chicken cachapa w/maduros at Zaguan (aka, the best place I ate at in Dallas).

Tequenos at Zaguan

craft dallas

This was a good weekend off for me. I had the chance to breathe & think & dream. And I came up with this:

I'm the person I've been becoming since I was a very little girl. I am passionate about food, the planet, healthcare, & how the three intersect. I really, truly want to be a nurse. Or maybe a chef. But a nurse for now. I do not like my job, but my job does not define me, and sooner or later, THE job is going to come around.

I LOVE FOOD, not only for its gustatory appeal, but because it is so essential to family, love, & happiness.

I had a killerrrrr weekend in Dallas.

The veggies are back in town. Today, we got more spinach, baby bok choy, turnips, 2 grapefruits (yech), MORE RADISHES (the two radishes from last week are still awaiting their fates), collard greens, cilantro!!!, MORE LETTUCE (to add to the lettuce we didn't even crack into last weekend while I was gone).

This week, I made kale & white bean stew, which was good, although I'm never very excited about soup. But I AM excited about the following recipe, which I made last night & am STILL salivating over:

Broccoli raab, tomato & cashew skillet pizza

Adapted from Sunset Magazine, January 2011

3 tbsp olive oil, divided

1 ball (1 lb.) whole-wheat pizza dough (or 1 plain pizza dough ball from Trader Joe's if you ran out of time to make pizza dough)

4 oz. broccoli raab, cut into 1.5-in pieces

1/2 tsp each kosher salt & red chile flakes

2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese, divided

1 large tomato, sliced

1 handful raw cashews

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Heat a frying pan over medium-low heat. Add 1 tbsp oil & brush all over pan.

2. Divide dough into 2 balls. Press first ball of dough with your hands, working on a floured surface, into an 8-in. round. (The magazine recommends a 13-in. crust in an oven-proof frying pan, but hey, I only have tiny, non-oven-proof pans, so this is what you get). Press into frying pan so it comes up sides slightly. Cook until golden on bottom, 5 minutes. Set on a cookie sheet, golden side up. Re-oil pan & repeat with the second ball of dough.

3. Add remaining oil to pan along with broccoli raab, salt, & chile. Cook 2-3 minutes, until wilted. Transfer to a plate.

4. Sprinkle crusts with mozzarella, leaving a border around edge. Add vegetables & nuts over cheese & sprinkle with remaining cheese.

5. Bake pizza on sheet until crust is crisp, about 15 minutes. Cut into wedges.

last day on main campus

Five years ago, I was seventeen and on top of the world. I had everything planned out. I was going to go to Point Loma, study nursing, sing my heart out, fall in love, get married. I knew where I was headed. I knew exactly what my life was going to look like.

And then I moved to Arizona.

And I met some of the most amazing people. And I lived with someone who would become my very best friend. And I skipped class and slept in and fell in love and got my heart broken into a million pieces and I cried and I prayed and I laughed and I never slept and somewhere along the way, I was twenty-two years old and a week and a half away from graduation.

I don't have any regrets. Well, that's not exactly true. I have very few regrets. I regret that I spent so much time loving someone who didn't love or respect me. I regret that I was unkind to several people when I was living in Dijon. And I regret that I wanted all of this to end so soon.

If I could do it over again, I would have gone to class more and studied harder, at least in my first two years. I would have laughed more. I would have traveled more. I would have spent more time outside. I would have spent less time caring about what people thought about me and more time caring about who I really was. I would have spent a year in France, though I probably wouldn't have made it out alive. I would have lived with Mariam all four years, because if it ain't broke, why would I bother trying to fix it? I would have taken more dance classes, even if they make my transcript look weak. I would have spent more time singing. I would have learned to say "no" much earlier.

But in the end, I'm glad the only time I ever spent in the SRC was that one morning that I tried to train on the elliptical and ending up throwing up in the Best C5 shower; working out wouldn't have helped my Chick-fil-A and Starbucks addictions. I'm glad I ran away to France to escape somewhere that was too full of memories I didn't want to keep. I'm glad that I adopted a wild dog who makes it nearly impossible for me to find a cheap apartment. And even though I would have loved studying English or music or French or theatre, I'm glad I picked something that made me pull all-nighters and go into stress comas; I'm glad that the people who love me most never let me underestimate myself.

For now, graduating feels like bungee jumping. I'm not sure that the rope can hold my weight. I'm scared I won't find a job. I'm even more terrified that I'll have to take a job that I hate. I'm worried I'll have to move home.

I'm worried that I'll fail...

...which is funny coming from a girl who failed BIO 202 and went on to graduate from nursing school.

I've failed and I've made mistakes and I've done things that embarrass me. But the most important thing I learned was how to get back up and fight it out. And I am so proud of that. I'm glad I learned how to fail and how to fight.

Graduation? Unemployment? Possible failure and humiliation? Sure, bring it on.

P.S. Mom, you were right. I shouldn't have given away my pink beach cruiser. How come you know everything?